tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3082331.post2908372545014173959..comments2023-12-22T15:39:43.656-07:00Comments on debitage: How To Say SorryStentorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13629599671442149938noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3082331.post-45442807331142252852008-04-27T17:27:00.000-07:002008-04-27T17:27:00.000-07:00As in:"I really regret that you're offended. But ...As in:<BR/>"I really regret that you're offended. But I'm not sorry that I did what I did. I still think it was the right thing to do. Perhaps I could have done it better, or prepared you for it, or expressed myself better when I tried to explain..."ogrehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15910505029382522110noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3082331.post-70414252405515979792008-04-27T13:53:00.000-07:002008-04-27T13:53:00.000-07:00I think part of this has to do with socialization....I think part of this has to do with socialization. Even those of us who agree with you that insincere apologies are worse than none at all have it drilled into us from an early age that saying 'sorry' is just what you do when something's wrong. (I could rant at some length about how my parents taught be to say 'sorry' when I'd done something wrong, then when I was in my teens and did something wrong and said sorry, immediately started to scream "SORRY DOESN'T CUT IT!" without explaining what would. But I digress.) <BR/><BR/>There's also the sympathetic 'Sorry', as in 'I'm sorry for your loss' or 'Sorry the new job didn't work out'. The world would be a better place if the English language had a clear distinction between the two. <BR/><BR/>I've settled things in my own mind by deciding that the words "I'm sorry" are always intended as the sympatheic "sorry" and that only "I apologize" counts as an apology, then never saying the latter. It's quite possible to wish that actions of yours didn't have a bad effect on someone, while still thinking those actions were justified and the best possible response to circumstances.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3082331.post-2138498800611725252008-04-26T23:41:00.000-07:002008-04-26T23:41:00.000-07:00Robin: I'm not sure what you're aiming to accompli...Robin: I'm not sure what you're aiming to accomplish by periodically raising your fight with the UUs here. I have exactly zero sway with the UUA or any UU church or other organization. Your comment would be great if you'd just stopped at the ellipsis.Stentorhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13629599671442149938noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3082331.post-48487516729115328402008-04-26T15:25:00.000-07:002008-04-26T15:25:00.000-07:00Excellent post! We are very much on the same wavel...Excellent post! We are very much on the same wavelength when it comes to apologies. I refer to an inadequate and/or insincere apology as "a sorry excuse for an apology". AFAIAC Nobody is obliged to accept such an apology. I actually have a personal policy of generally accepting apologies that are offered voluntarily and unilaterally (i.e not as the result of any demand for an apology) and appear to be sincere. Interestingly enough I received and accepted just such an apology from a U*U within the last hour or so. It must be some kind of synchronicity or something. . . Of course I am still waiting for sincere and comprehensive apologies from the the UUA, its Ministerial Fellowship Committee, the Unitarian Church of Montreal and some other obstinately unapologetic U*Us. . .Robin Edgarhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06208142626285495635noreply@blogger.com