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19.1.02

I want to be able to secrete salt from my eyes like a sea turtle.

You see, when most people think of animal abilities that they want, they stop with the obvious things like flying and retractable claws. But what about tunnelling like a mole? What about turning your digestive tract inside out like a starfish? What about spontaneously changing genders like certain species of frog?

I would think the sea turtle thing would come in handy. For example, last night I was eating a free leftover Lynah Rink soft pretzel. It was making me really thirsty, because it was so salty and I had nothing to drink. But if I could secrete that extra salt through my eyes, I wouldn't be so thirsty.

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