I don't think I can think clearly about my future anymore. Too many emotions, too many reasons that might just be rationalizations, and too much second-guessing where any of them come from. And it makes it all the more frustrating that everyone else, though they try to act like they understand the choice I have to make, they really can't comprehend the idea of someone turning down a Watson for any reason short of also winning a Rhodes. And it may come down to something as simple as the fact that I don't think I can face BL Turner having turned down the Watson and expect him to ever comepletely regain respect for me.