This has got to be the saddest form of procrastination ever. I'm using the Prior-Art-O-Matic to find out about famous geographers. Apparently B L Turner II is like a normal fizzy drink, but [he] can be used as a metal detector. And Ellen Semple is a rubber fish that has been featured in Star Trek! And Karl Ritter is a bathtub that records memos!

Addendum: It looks like John Mars is going to protect us from the terrible secret of space.