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16.8.04

Bwuh?

For weird commentary on gay marriage, it's hard to beat this:

The Tragedy Of The McGreevey Marriage

... There are two kinds of gay men, those who, amid strong homosexual inclination, still harbor an attraction to women, and those who harbor none. Studies show that the overwhelming number of gay men are, like James McGreevey, in the former category. They are capable of having sex with a woman, and indeed 90 percent of gay men admit to having done so. It is for this reason that society should not legalize gay marriage and elevate it to the same plane as heterosexual marriages, because there is then no incentive for these men, who are in essence bisexual, to make an effort to direct their erotic focus toward women and raise their heterosexual attraction above their same-sex one.

... there is nothing cruel in encouraging men who have an attraction to both sexes to try and focus their sexual desire on women rather than on men. Indeed, gay men who are attracted to women usually make much better husbands and fathers since they are usually softer, gentler, more domesticated and more nurturing than their heterosexual counterparts. Indeed, if men with attraction to both sexes are not encouraged to explore their heterosexual attraction, we are condemning millions of women to lives of loneliness without husbands since the much higher proportion of gay men to lesbians creates a strong numerical imbalance between the sexes.

... But then there are men who find the idea of sex with a woman positively repulsive. Religious individuals and moralists who encourage gay men with absolutely no attraction to women to enter into the heterosexual institution of marriage are not only unrealistic, they are cruel, cold and heartless. The practice is immoral and deeply destructive to the marriage's participants, as well as to the children who follow. For these men, civil unions should be legally available as a viable alternative, and I find it absurd that it is religious conservatives who are the main obstacles to gay civil unions.

-- via Mouse Words


So we should inhibit and stigmatize homosexuality enough that men who have even a little opposite-sex attraction go the heterosexual route, but not so much that they have to hide their un-acted-on feelings, and we should have civil unions only for people who are 100% gay.

If the point of encouraging bisexual men to marry women is the fear that so many straight women will be left single, then it seems like the Rabbi ought to encourage women to meet them halfway -- any woman with some same-sex attraction ought to get involved in a lesbian relationship, so as not to take men away from the straight women who need them.

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